Saturday, February 07, 2009

Come Mr. Taliban. . .

I read a headline that said that the Taliban had executed a Polish Engineer. Those nutty Talibans. I thought we got rid of them just after 9/11. So a little reading ensued....(italics from Wikipedia)

Well, as you may remember, they ARE a fun bunch. Here's the short list of things they outlaw:

pork, pig, pig oil, anything made from human hair, satellite dishes, cinematography, and equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, television, anything that propagates sex and is full of music, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogs, pictures, Christmas cards.

I have to say that I'm with them on the human hair and lobster (especially served together) but firecrackers? Who doesn't like firecrackers? Crazy.

Sewing catalogs?


Possession was forbidden of depictions of living things, including photographs of them, stuffed animals, and dolls

Imagine the trouble you'd get in if caught with a photograph of yourself with your dog Sparky while holding your favorite doll (Elvis of course) and stuffed animal.

The women got the worst deal of all:

Women in particular were targets of the Taliban's restrictions. They were prohibited from working; from wearing clothing regarded as "stimulating and attractive," including the "Iranian chador," (viewed as insufficiently complete in its covering); from taking a taxi without a "close male relative"; washing clothes in streams; or having their measurements taken by tailors.[54]

Employment for women was restricted to the medical sector, since male medical personnel were not allowed to examine women. One result of the banning of employment of women by the Taliban was the closing down in places like Kabul of primary schools not only for girls but for boys, because almost all the teachers there were women.[55]

Women were made to wear the burqa, a traditional dress covering the entire body except for a small screen to see out of. Taliban restrictions became more severe after they took control of the capital. In February 1998, religious police forced all women off the streets of Kabul and issued new regulations ordering "householders to blacken their windows, so women would not be visible from the outside."[56] Home schools for girls, which had been allowed to continue, were forbidden.[57] In June 1998, the Taliban stopped all women from attending general hospitals,[58] leaving the use of one all-women hospital in Kabul. There were many reports of Muslim women being beaten by the Taliban for violating their version of the Sharia.

Yeah this is one fun bunch of guys. Now what in the hell would provoke a bunch of guys to start a club like this? I want to be a fly on the wall where these guys decide that they do NOT want their women to look stimulating or attractive. What's with that? Maybe these guys always got turned down when asking for dates (try bathing!). Just shows to go you how twisted things can get when it comes to religion.

Interestingly they ruled Afganistan (or maybe it was Scotland) from about 1996 -2001. Only 3 countries recognized them in that time: Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates. Hmmm, notice anything? There it is again, Saudi Arabia, the nationality of nearly all of the 9/11 terrorists. The same country that the Bush family is so buddy buddy with. Now count the letters in Saudi Arabia. OK, I already did. It's 11. How many letters in John Kennedy? 11! Conspiracy theories have been based on less!

I rest my case.

You know if they'd treat women like equals and stop beheading people they might want to come to America. You can have the craziest damn religion you want here in the good old U.S. of A and you won't have to pay taxes. It's pretty easy to avoid lobster and human hair here. Satellite dishes do tend to intrude but you don't have to own one. You might occasionaly run into a woman who looks stimulating or attractive though (hmmm, maybe better settle in Fort Wayne then). So, come on Mr. Taliban come to America. Enjoy the good life and you can hate Americans close up!


Anonymous said...

Kay has taken to require me to wear a burka at home. It's rather comfortable in a Moomoo kind of way - a bitch though when you have a runny nose.

Chairman Meow

Anonymous said...

You may be a Taliban IF:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Found in my in-box. Author unknown to me.

floridaglades said...

Tally me banana